Why High Achievers Struggle With Health After 40 | How Identity-Based Habits Actually Work with Tony Sherock

Judy Oskam: 0:00

If you can run a career, a household, and everyone else’s life—but your health keeps falling apart—this episode is for you. You didn’t lose your health because you failed. You lost it because the identity that made you successful never learned how to care for you. That’s something to think about. This is Stories of Change and Creativity and I’m Judy Oskam a mass communication professor at Texas State University.

Tony Sherock: 0:16

Uh my name's Tony Shirac, and pretty much my forte is helping busy midlife professionals, 40 plus, to create new identities. And I think that's the key here to create new identities through rewiring habits. And for some, it's losing weight, gaining strength. And a lot of it is basically just overcoming burnout. And quite honestly, we we want to cut through all the BS that's out there. There's so much information out there, Judy. And we want to make health become what you are, not necessarily just what you do.

Judy Oskam: 0:48

I love that focus because you really you've kind of experienced that in your journey as well. And I think if people when when we get to the end of this episode, they're gonna people will be walking away with some real actionable steps that they can take. And it's easy. I'm in your target audience. I'm a little way over that target audience, but you know, caring for an aging uh parent, um, work, I mean, high high stress job like yours, uh, and kids, they're adult kids, um, husband around there somewhere. So it's just sort of a life kind of a situation. And talk about your journey. Where did you start and why'd you get into this?

Tony Sherock: 1:28

Uh actually, I'd be the last person, uh, to be honest with you, Judy, I'd be the last person you ever think would be involved in this because I was a train wreck for like 40 some years, about 40, I would say. Uh, Italian household, both sides, right? I had the luxury, though, to see a lot of aunts and uncles and a lot of older cousins who are experiencing some chronic diseases. And a lot of people in the neighborhood, you know, it's your your friends, it's their grandparents, it's their parents. So it's like, and I just assumed, I honestly just assumed, literally, from a societal standpoint, no one told me this, but I just assumed that, oh, all right, well, you're just gonna hop on three, four medications. That's just what you do. And I found myself around 38, 39, 40 years old. And then when it hit me, was my wife ended up getting involved in personal training with a personal trainer, and then she became a personal trainer, and then she's the first one to stick weights in my hand. So I've never used weights in my life. She goes, you know, you gotta tighten some things up here. And of course, I had to lose a little weight as well. But the key there was is learning about nutrition and realizing that you have about 85% control over what you do and what happens. And it literally started from drinking Gatorade like a crazy person. I would drink Gatorade all the time, had acid reflux, pre-diabetic. I was on three medications, and then I just kind of backed it off to propel, which isn't much better. But to me, it was a step, right? It's a little step in the right direction. And then for whatever reason, I don't know what instigated it, was I just started drinking more water. And when I started drinking more water, then I realized, you know, why am I taking this prile sec and this previous for acid reflux when I feel like I'm just doing it out of habit and it's and it's not really serving me. So I decided, well, I'm just gonna go every other day. And then what happened was I'm just gonna go as needed. Uh, and then it hit me that once I start drinking this other stuff again, or I'm eating the wrong foods in the wrong quantity, maybe too much at the wrong time of the evening. Oh man, just this is really kind of hitting me. So I realized I don't even need this stuff. This is just one example. I don't even need this stuff unless uh if I'm able to just fix the diet, if I'm able to just have some sweets, but I'm not gonna be over consuming and I'm not gonna be doing this at nine o'clock at night.

Judy Oskam: 3:39

I mean, right, right.

Tony Sherock: 3:40

Just these things. Now, again, everyone is different, and some people need medications for their situation, and I'm totally on board with that. However, there's a lot more you can control, and so that's when I really realize then you start learning more. You know, you just start learning more, you become conscious. It's called conscious raising. I mean, it just really you realize, wow, okay, I'm learning a lot, but not only that, I'm implementing it, and then you get connected with groups of people, community, because we are wired to connect with people. And when we do that, you realize, okay, now my goal that I had as far as becoming healthier is not just an individual one, it's kind of a shared one. I'm seeing people, I'm putting myself in rooms and with connections of people who are two, three steps ahead of me because that's how you learn. Right. And and so, yeah, that's that's kind of how it all started was Gatorade and water.

Judy Oskam: 4:28

I so yeah, starting with water, I mean, that sounds sounds hopeful for me, even thinking of well, what can I do that's so simple? I can just start drinking more water, right?

Tony Sherock: 4:39

Absolutely. I mean, again, I always look at it at this though, is it's something you want to do. Yeah, and I know for a lot of my clients that seems to be a common thing is like, oh, you know, I just go right to coffee. I'm just it's it's just I'm living on caffeine, I need the kick in the morning, and and all that all really goes back to okay, what are you doing in the evening? Right, because that dictates your sleep, and then the evening and then the sleep dictates your morning, and then a lot of times what you're doing at one, two o'clock in the afternoon dictates how you sleep, right? So, I mean, we just start with one thing, and sometimes that water before coffee in the morning, I I will say, you know, I mean, you know, from a tiny habits perspective, it's just you know, you realize just having a client. I'll I'll give you an example here. I have one one client, this happened to many, but the first one is like, wow, this is really uh really powerful. It's like Tony, I want to I want to drink more water, right? Because I want to drink water before coffee. I heard it's good. I said, Well, that's perfect because you're really dehydrated when you wake up. So it's like, but you know what? The thing is, I don't like 16 ounces, I did it's just too much, and I don't like cold water, and I just don't see how I can get this thing done, so I haven't done anything. So it's like, okay, well, let's just ask some questions. Does it have to be cold water? I don't think so. It's probably best two. Does it have to be 16 ounces? Right? Well, no, it doesn't. Okay, so how about we just limit that to like two? Well, what's two gonna do? It's like, well, we're just gonna connect it to whatever you do in the evening, right? We'll connect it to an anchor habit. And for him and for a lot of people, it's I set up my coffee pot at night. So, okay, after you set your coffee pot up at night, fill two ounces of water, we'll keep it at room temperature, we'll cap it, and we'll just stick it right there by your coffee pot. So when you wake up, you see, oh, okay, there it's there. But what's two ounces gonna do? And then the question is, well, okay, how many ounces of water are you drinking before coffee in the last six months?

unknown: 6:26

Right.

Tony Sherock: 6:27

Okay, so two is better than none. And of course, you can do two, that's two sips. That's the minimum. That's all we want you to do is get the minimum down. And because you could go four, you can go six, and a lot of people they'll they'll go to four and then six. If it's just kind of a rough morning, they'll just drink the two and they'll keep the streak going. But most people cap it off at eight, twelve, sixteen, and then it just seems like it's just natural to them, so they feel better about that, and that then leads into maybe blueberries, strawberries, more water, taking more fruit for lunch. You know, these are all protein, yeah. I mean, all the things, right? And then you realize, wow, I could do this. And so I love those growth habits because once we start focusing on one thing, sometimes it just leads into it, just a ripple effect into these other areas, and it's like I didn't even intend to do this. That's the point, because as you mentioned, you're so busy, you got so much going on. The last thing we want to do is is give you more things to do and give you a to-do list, and it just doesn't make any sense to do that. It really doesn't. So that's keep it easy.

Judy Oskam: 7:28

Well, well, and when we're talking about mindset here, I mean, some of us are really more work-centric and we're thinking about work, and the success at work is sort of something that comes top of mind. How do you work on the mindset of health being top of mind as well? Because you had to go through that yourself.

Tony Sherock: 7:49

Yeah, and I think it's uh you get so consumed with work, you do. I mean, you bring it home with you, and and uh a lot of times you see the culture of maybe the office that you're in or the organization that you're in, or the department you're in. And uh I I could say that for a fact, you work at a university, there's some departments that are more health conscious and more open to things than others, right? So, but keep in mind with work, this is where you have to kind of differentiate this. And this is really challenging for high achievers and who are busy and they're focused on careers that you're so addicted to fast results, right? You're so addicted to fast results. I mean, you have a career, you want results, you close the deal, you finish the project, you hit the metric, you do all the things, but what and then there's health. That's not the way we're supposed to do it. I mean, think about it, it's it's got it's gonna be slow, it's gonna be boring. We have to embrace the boring part of this because as long as we're doing the right boring things, it's gonna be repetitive, and health is really a long game. You know, so if you look at this, it's it's treating health like a project isn't gonna work for people. It's just not when you're trying to do so many things, your body is not going to need to be pushed harder. At work, you could probably push a little harder. You can you can do all those things, you get better results. Maybe the project's due in X amount of time, you get it done. With health, there's no deadline, right? There's no deadline, there's no finish line. And the harder you push, again, you have to be mindful of that because then that leads into injury, that leads into quitting, that leads into burnout. And that's a huge aspect of things when we cut talk about high achievers, is the burnout aspect. So we really want to make sure that you can have both. That's it. You can really have both. And I think a lot of times people don't realize it's either one or the other. Health is always pushed to the side. They won't say that, but a lot of times, I just I'm not gonna, I can't do this now because I got this going on. It's like, no, you can have both. You know, we can make this super duper simple. Just blend it right into your existing lifestyle and and let the rest go.

Judy Oskam: 9:48

Well, you were lucky that you that your wife became a personal trainer. So that's sort of a little, that's a real asset for you. But what did you have to go through mindset based on your family history and what you saw in the community? How did you have to change your mind on what health and what your life looks like moving forward? What did you go through mentally?

Tony Sherock: 10:10

Well, I mean, there was a few things that happened early on when my son was diagnosed with autism, wasn't talking at three and a half, four. Didn't realize I was taking a small habit, micro habit, tiny habit approach to things because we were living in a bubble for like eight years trying to get this little guy to talk. We had to go through this process based on you know occupational therapist, speech therapy, and it worked, right? It was amazing. So there was a lot of things to realize. Oh, wow, we play the long game, we get this kid to talk, right? Sometimes now he talks too much. I mean, I'm he's he's good, but he just graduated from college.

Judy Oskam: 10:44

He graduated college, congratulations.

Tony Sherock: 10:46

He's doing all the things, right? And and you realize that okay, if we just stick with the small things, that really doesn't seem like anything's going on, it just doesn't seem like anything's really happening. So I look at it this way when you know, I I guess put things in perspective. If we just have people look at this and say, listen, all we're doing is requiring minimal effort, we're requiring requiring little decision making. And if we can help reduce the energy that takes to get into the health mode, or the cognitive load, or the steps we can we can reduce those things, we can create health. I've never met a person who doesn't have time for health. I've never met a schedule or anyone who there's no way we can see what your calendar looks like because the calendar tells a lot. We can look at that calendar and we can tell what exactly there's places, there's spaces, there's these little pockets of time. And then that's what I had to realize is that that this does not have to be an hour workout. This does not have to be um, you know, having meal prepped for five days and 16 meals. You you don't have to do that, you know. You really don't. And that's the key. If you just start there, you just get you just get good enough. And then you may realize, you know, that identity shapes because I'm realizing I'm experiencing success. You know, and I see that with clients when they experience success, all of a sudden they they're just motivated to do more. We never want to rely on motivation, but we want to rely on that that when it's there, right? You're just gonna say, okay, now we can remove. And once you have that identity, and this is this is who I am, this is what I do, then the rest is we're we're great, we're golden, ready to go, because there's so many more changes that will happen in your relationships and your work and your finances and all the rest.

Judy Oskam: 12:34

Well, and I love that that you learn from your from your son, because we often see that with our kids is we don't expect kids to stand up from crawling and then run across the room. We we we celebrate every single tiny step that they that they do. And so to turn that back, I don't know why we forget that when we're adults. I don't know what happens that we just forget that. But I think, you know, you know, you yeah, I think you really have a point with with high achievers and people that are used to getting success. And maybe it's the definition of success for themselves and giving the time to do that. I think that's super impactful. Um, and that's where the tiny habits comes in. And, you know, to me, when I got involved with you and, you know, tiny habits, it to me it sounded kind of silly, right? Because it sounded like, oh, I'm a tiny habits coach. And but it really is simple and it's based on sort of what you just outlined is just the small steps forward. Um so if if someone's listening and they're they're in that spot and they're busy and they've got multiple obligations outside of the their uh hectic career, besides the water step. I mean, which I've started to do as well. And I think I just have it by my bedside. So when my feet hit the floor, I take a drink of water right away. It's simple, and I do that before I even go in and do coffee. And I'm trying to delay coffee, but boy, that's super hard to do.

Tony Sherock: 14:02

Well, yeah, I would never tell anyone to give up coffee. I I work out and I drink the water to get to the coffee. And then I just love it.

Judy Oskam: 14:13

There you go. I know, I know. So, so, so what's what's what are some other simple steps that someone listening can go through if they're in that zone? And of course they can you know reach out to you, but what are some simple steps to give them?

Speaker 2: 14:27

I'd say the first thing is a non-negotiable. You have to have something to reach for.

Judy Oskam: 14:32

Okay, what does that mean?

Tony Sherock: 14:33

Well, what I mean a non-negotiable is what's the bare minimum we can do? And for someone, and it's different for everyone. So typically I I've noticed I work with a lot of individuals, and one of the first things we realize is we have a very sedentary life. We're sitting down a lot, and then just calculating up. Let's go with data because it's like you have people all the time, well, yeah, my water's good, my breakfast is good, oh, my steps are good. You know, it's like, well, okay, well, let's let's track. How about we just track just for fun, right? I mean, there's no judgment.

Judy Oskam: 15:06

It doesn't sound like fun to me, though, to track.

Tony Sherock: 15:08

We track for a day or two, that's it. Maybe three days, you know, meals, maybe a little more, but let's track. In many, many cases, those steps come out to be around 3,500 per day, which is very, very low. So, in that case, if this is something somebody wants to do, it's like, let's have a non-negotiable. Right now, if it's 3,500, you were totally unconscious about it, right? Let's build something around this. If this is something they want to do. So it's like, okay, how about and I just was working with someone in a group. 4,500 steps was our non-negotiable. It's something very achievable even on the roughest day, even on the craziest day. We can get 4,500 in. That's just the number we came up with based on dissecting what she can do and her lifestyle and her work and things like that. And she's up to 6,500 now. I mean, so it's amazing. And this is just, you know, five, six weeks into it. Non-negotiable. If you have a non-negotiable that's bare minimum that you can keep that streak alive, right? And be okay if you know things change. You get sick, you know, you're you're in bed. It's like, I don't want you in bed with the flu, and it's like, I gotta get these steps in. It's like, no, no, it's okay. It's okay. We're not gonna have to start over, we're not gonna do that stuff. But if we have a non-negotiable and connected to a why, why are we doing this? I think that's the biggest thing. Why are we doing this? What's the reason we are doing this? Is it for you? Is it for something you're concerned with with your health? Is it for your kids? Is it for whatever it is? You know, we have to make sure, because in our head we can say, well, you know, I want to lose 10 pounds or 15 pounds. That's fine. Okay, but if your heart's not into it, you know, the beginning of the year, let's just say, well, February 1st hits. Well, it sounds good. I should lose, you know, 10, 15, 20 pounds, but my heart's just not into it. You know, again, non-negotiable. We have to have something there to say, okay, now what's the why? And then we can build uh some scaffolding around that. We can build a foundation, we can build a plan, we can build a system. And it sounds so simple, but I mean, I I look at the cascade effect. If if I I'll just share with one client just recently, um, she was at a lake house and the treadmill that was there was busted. And she has a uh non-negotiable of 7,500 steps, by the way, right now, because she was really low. And uh she said, you know what? The husband said, You know what? There's a planet fitness about a mile to you down the road. We have a membership. I mean, even though we're up here, but we still should be able to get you in there. So she went there and she's like, Wow, this is amazing. I mean, I got my steps in, um, maintained my non-negotiable. Now, these are all the things you're telling yourself in your head. Uh, I reinforced my identity of who I want to be, showed up for myself. The kids saw it. My husband acknowledged it. My energy is a little bit better. I slept better, which means I'm making better decisions for breakfast. And um, I just feel better. I feel confident starting the week. Yep. That one little decision, that one little decision right there, that non-negotiable, it leads into other things. So, and again, think of the cascade effect of like, okay, well, I'm not gonna go and hang out on the couch. And that's okay. Sometimes you need a Netflix day. Totally get.

Judy Oskam: 18:15

Sure.

Tony Sherock: 18:15

But there's times where it's like, okay, if that turns into more and more, where it's like, I'm gonna hang out on the couch, and the couch becomes the place where we eat pizza and donuts and chips. We don't feel so great. We don't get great sleep. We wake up late, we don't have a game plan, we're eating out, we're spending more money, we're eating more fast food, we don't have the energy, we're using caffeine because we need it to stay awake, and then this compounds over and over and over again. It's kind of like the compound effect if you read the book, right? Darren Hardy, that's a great book.

Judy Oskam: 18:45

Right. And that's what you were seeing in your life going down that road, right?

Tony Sherock: 18:50

Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. It just started, like I said, one thing. Um, and then you know, from from the nutrition, from that was the biggest hang up with me was sweets, right? And it's just like if we we could still enjoy those, but we just have to minimize those, um, and just pick and choose. You know, it comes back down to like when you think about cognitive behavioral coaching. Um, there's these situations that happen. And anytime I was either at a wedding and there was an open bar, I the open bar didn't bother me. It was it was open, like the cookie table or the dessert table, Italian weddings. The wedding cake. Yeah, yeah, the wedding cake, all these things. And so for me, it's like, well, there's a situation. My first thought was I gotta take advantage of this, I gotta take advantage of this. And so, because I'm not here very often, I gotta do this, right? Um, and then you just catch that thought, say, Whoa, catch it. Hold on, let's it's like it's it's like a fastball coming right at you, right? You catch it, you check it, you question it, and thinking, okay, do I really need to? Because how am I gonna feel after this? Yeah, right. So I can enjoy, but this doesn't mean to have 20 cookies. I can enjoy two or three and still be fine. Sure, you know, sure. But yeah, it's it's a lot of it is just catching yourself in the moment because we do so many things unconsciously. That's right. I love us to bring the unconscious to the conscious.

Judy Oskam: 20:05

Yeah, I I love that. And you know, with your background in broadcasting and higher ed, um, storytelling is important to you. And I think how does changing the story that someone tells themselves uh about their own behavior and like that that identity piece? I mean, talk a little bit more about that because that's important.

Tony Sherock: 20:26

Yeah, and again, a lot of it is just something that you don't realize till you're actually doing it, right? You don't realize till you're actually doing if you can look at that and say, well, from a from an affirmation standpoint, you know, I'm a healthy person. I'm a healthy person. This is what I do. And you're not trying to force things anymore. When we create habits around uh your lifestyle, and then they just become natural to you, there's less stress, there's less friction, they just become natural to what you do. Then you just build on there, and then from there the confidence is arises. Because before, I mean, how many times people? I would say, Judy, you probably know quite a few. Maybe we've all done it where we tried to get healthy and we failed.

Judy Oskam: 21:06

Yeah, that that's me. That's me too.

Tony Sherock: 21:09

Because we didn't, we just didn't have the right program or the right process or the right system. Um, yeah, I I always look at it this way from from being from Cleveland. I'm a Cleveland Browns fan, right? I hate the Pittsburgh Steelers, totally respect them. But the Browns and Steelers every year, their goal is to do what? Get to the Super Bowl.

Judy Oskam: 21:27

Yeah.

Tony Sherock: 21:27

Well, how many times have the Browns gotten to the Super Bowl? Zero. Right? So if the goal is the same, Pittsburgh's gotten there how many times? They won six championships, they're always in the running over the course of how many years, over decades, right? So, what I'm saying is is both have the same goal. Just this team over here has a better system. Right, right. They do all the right things and they course correct when needed. I see that with students all the time as well, too, where it's you know, we're you know, why are we not getting the resumes out? Um, you graduated three months ago, and then you you know, ask a Lot of what and how questions you dive deep. And then maybe it's you know a situation as a student, you'd say, Well, and I've had this happen uh on a handful of occasions where a student would say, Well, I I think it's just you know it's I'm not sure. I gotta I gotta show that I know how to do this. I'll use an exercise science to great example. She came in and and you know, it basically was imposter syndrome. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what it was. And I said, Well, let's let's look at the big picture here for a second because you're 23 years old. It was a four and a half, five-year program for her with exercise science. I said, You've been in school since you were what four? School for you has been structured. Yeah, everything's been done for you. Now, granted, it's been challenging too at some point, but it's been structured. Now we have to get out there and do it. So her situation was, I'm not getting resumes out. I'm working in a job that I have nothing that has nothing to do with exercise science. Up here, the thinking was imposter syndrome. I'm not good at it. So if you're thinking this, you're feeling this.

Judy Oskam: 22:59

Right.

Tony Sherock: 23:00

And if these two are not in a in a in a positive state, what's going to happen is what's the action steps? Well, there was inaction here. And the results are you're working at Lowe's or you're working at Home Depot, and the consequences are there's gonna be a year that goes by and and and your resume has nothing to do with exercise science, and you're not in school, so you're not doing any space review, you're not learning new things. So, really, it was just let's take a look over, you know, the resume. Let's get this fixed up. Let's you had two internships, and we built this thing up to explain the results you were getting, she was getting. And then I said afterwards, I said, Okay, after reading this out loud, how do we feel? Scale one to ten, what's your confidence level? And from there, she says, probably about an eight. I could have been a real idiot and said, Okay, why not a 10? Yeah. Oh, I said if you said an eight, why not a five? Yeah, exactly. Why not a five? Because I'm doing this, this, this, this, this. Okay. Now all of a sudden we're thinking the mindset positively you were feeling it, right? That head-heart connection, and then the action the results are gonna be or the action steps, we're gonna get these resumes out. She's doing fine. She's out in San Diego and uh working in her field, and she's a NASM personal trainer, she's doing fantastic. That's great. But it's just sometimes you just you get out of your own head, and like you said earlier, I mean, sometimes we uh as adults we do a really in college students too, um uh because they're adults as well. Um the thing is, is like we do a really great job of going to bed at night and and losing sleep because we're thinking about the two or three things that didn't go so well, right? But we're not giving ourselves credit for the 57 things that went great, right?

Judy Oskam: 24:34

Right.

Tony Sherock: 24:35

Maybe that's journaling, maybe that's something else.

Judy Oskam: 24:37

But yeah, yeah. And again, it goes back to telling your story of who you are. And I like to use the term I'm the, you know, that sentence, I'm the kind of person who, and you fill in the blank. Yeah, and if you can start kind of uh filling in that sentence and then understanding that really is who you are, uh, it does help with imposter syndrome and it helps with and it helps with people like me who are busy doing all of these things and not focusing enough on health, thinking that, oh, I'll do that later. Well, there should not be a later when it comes to health, right?

Speaker 2: 25:12

No, because once it's gone, then that's all you care about.

unknown: 25:15

Right.

Tony Sherock: 25:15

It's gone. So it's like if you have that, if I were to tell you, hey Judy, here's the car that you have right now. That's the last that's the only car you're gonna have in the rest of your life. Yeah, you would do everything to maintain that car because it's like, okay, well, I have to get from point A to point B. I want to go on vacations, I gotta get to work, I gotta get to the hair salon, I gotta go to the grocery store, I gotta do all these things. I am going to make sure the tires are rotated, I'm gonna make sure the oils change, I'm gonna make sure it it's running smoothly. That's the same for your body, yeah. But we don't even think of it that way, right? You have one vehicle to get around, and it's really challenging, right? But yeah, who who are you? And again, I I also think, too, to piggyback on that, is not having to explain yourself. I think a lot of times, you know, we tend to say, you know, if someone's offering you certain things and it's food or whatever the case or drinks or whatever, and you don't want it, it's like, no, I'm I'm good. Many times we have to offer, here's a reason why. Right. You don't need a that goes into boundaries because a lot of us we if we have boundaries and this is what we do, this is who we are. I hope you're okay with that. I can't control how you feel about that, but I can control with me saying no to this, and I can control me saying yes to this, or I can control me and saying, Well, I can hang out for a little bit, but you want me to hang out for nine hours? I can't do that, but I can hang, I could, I could pop in for an hour. You know, so those are the again, non-negotiables, boundaries, whatever you want to call them. It all bleeds into all areas of your life. Um, so yeah, I I always look at it that way.

Judy Oskam: 26:46

Well, and some of the, you know, for me, the level of control is important. And I think at work we try, we can control certain things.

Speaker 1: 26:54

Yep.

Judy Oskam: 26:55

And so I think some people go home and feel like, oh, I don't have to worry about that anymore. But there is a control, and I'm sure that's part of your conversation as well, is that you as the individual control what you do and how you live. So whether that's boundaries or control or I don't know, ownership or the or the why.

Tony Sherock: 27:16

Yeah, it all connects, it all connects, and and I really think that people have to realize um to be confident in their decision making too. Because I think a lot of this, I think I know, I know a lot of this is decision making is key because if people are in a state of indecision about a lot of things, and indecision and procrastination are best buddies, they really are. So if you're indecisive, next thing you know, you're procrastinating on this thing you probably should do. Well, I want to focus on the things that you want to do, not necessarily the things that you feel like you should do, because there's a huge difference between the two. Now, there, you know, maybe something pops up, the doctor tells you something, it's like, well, I I really need to do this and I want to do this because I have to do this, right? So there's all sorts of situations. But I think if we can get really good at decision making and be really prompt with that, it's kind of like time management. When you own your time and when you own your decisions, you're really unstoppable at that particular point. You really are, especially when it comes to your health.

Judy Oskam: 28:18

Yeah, sure, sure. Absolutely. Well, what's been to kind of kind of roll this out, what's been one of the biggest successes one of your clients have had has had, and what if they really kind of what's kind of hit the mark for them?

Tony Sherock: 28:34

I would say again, creating that new identity. Yeah, right, of a person who, you know, um, and this is a key thing here too. This is why I love health coaching. Judy, can I explain that this is a good idea? Exactly. Go for it. Let's go. I love it. Because when you are working with someone, let's say for three months or four months or whatever, it's six months, whatever it's gonna be. I love it when we're dealing with that time frame because life, something will happen in life. And maybe somewhat major, maybe whatever I don't know. But when we're in this and we're building these habits and we're building this lifestyle, right? And you got the accountability to go with it, then this thing pops up. And I've heard it from many clients, including two that I'm working with right now. It's like, you know what? If I wasn't doing this right now, I know I would be leaning on extra food at the end of the night. I would be leaning on alcohol at the end of the night. Because you know what, but I'm not going there. I'm not going there because my mindset has shifted much more because I am the person, like you said, who does this. I'm the person who does this. I show up for my family. I show up for the so when I when I hear that, it's like addictions are a completely other ball game. That you know, you have sometimes you have to we got to talk to a mental health professional, whatever the case is. But when I hear that, yeah, this is when I would typically quit. This is the time, this would have been the trigger where I would have been drinking on the weekends or drinking in the evening, even if it was just a couple glasses of wine, but that couple glasses of wine compounds to another couple glasses of wine the night, the next night, and then the next night, and then you know what I mean? So I think when I hear that from a from a new identity, I'm creating a new identity, um, then everything changes. It everything changes. Um and I I think for me, when I when I hear that from a from a client, it's just like wow. And that's why I changed kind of the mission statement a little bit because I'm realizing when we're going through this process, new identities, it's their language, not mine. Right. Like, wow, this is this is powerful stuff because not only that, you're changing this person's life, but then you're changing if there's a spouse, you're changing the kids, you're changing the harmony in the family, you're changing how they go about that, how the kids are being raised. I mean, it's just like when you think about it that way, and how you're going about work, if you're a leader, if you're a leader at work in your in your department or your company, and then having maybe just the the extra courage to say, you know what, I'm gonna change professions, or I am gonna leave this job that I should have been out of a while ago for whatever reason. It's just it leads into so many different areas of life when you talk about that holistic wheel of wellness from you know, uh, emotional health and social health and professional health and uh physical and intimacy and you know, everything. It just, it just every spirituality, all this stuff connects because so many times we look, I gotta change all these things, and then we stay stuck and there's no action, right? Right, but we got we got to start somewhere. We can find out maybe one or two little things because this I know this is gonna be a roadway, it's gonna connect the dots to these other things without you even realizing it. And then we just let the you know universe do the rest.

Judy Oskam: 31:44

And there's and and there's no age on this. So there's no age. If someone's over 50, over 60, over 70, there's no, there's no uh stopping people to start, right?

Tony Sherock: 31:56

No, absolutely not. And and I will say from a personal standpoint, you know, i I look at it this way too. Like when my sister was just diagnosed with early onset dementia, Louie Body, a couple years ago, she's 60, 63, she's 65 now. So for me, it's kind of like you know, it's not just the health and wellness and the physical activity and all the things that help with that. Um, but there is some more control that you have. And I'm talking about cognitive things, cognitive games, learning a new language. I've been learning Italian. I mean, and there's there's you know, clients who sometimes will say, I want to pick up the guitar again. I haven't played that since I was in high school. You know what I mean? So there's it just opens the windows for for new things. And I think if it's not just the physical muscles, it's the mental muscles that you're working. Um, and I know for me, it's just that's a that's a huge alarm that went off a red flag to say, you know what, I'm 12 years behind my sister. Um, there's no diagnosis anywhere in our family. Um, and I will say, from an Italian household, both sides, because we joke, my sister said, Italian women don't forget anything. I mean, they forget anything, anything, right? So this is a very strange situation. So for me, I just want to be as proactive as I possibly can um from that standpoint, too, learning new things. Uh for that reason. And I'd say, well, if I'm gonna learn new things, that's my why.

Judy Oskam: 33:16

Yeah.

Tony Sherock: 33:17

Because I'm a caregiver for her, so I need to make sure that I'm gonna be around for a while, right? Taking care of all of her, her basically her life at this particular point.

Judy Oskam: 33:26

Well, what a great story, Tony. And I'm so glad that you were able to share sort of your pain points and how you got into it. And now you're helping others. I love that. Thank you so much for joining us today.

Tony Sherock: 33:38

My pleasure. Thanks for having me, Judy. Appreciate it.

Judy Oskam: 33:40

OK – what are your non-negotiables? Tony has given me some other ideas for improving my health. What do you think? I love the car analogy and mentioned to my husband. We have one vehicle to get through life - Reach out to me if you'd be interested in being interviewed.\

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