Loredana Calabrese: Building Community Through Food, Family, and Connection

Welcome

Judy Oskam 0:02

I'm Judy Oskam, and welcome to Stories of Change and Creativity. I've always been fascinated by people's stories. This podcast explores the experiences that shape us and the lessons we learn along the

The No Wi-Fi Door Sign

Judy Oskam 0:16

way. Well, there's a sign on the door at Bella Italia Restaurant in North Berwick, Scotland, that reads, We do not have Wi-Fi, talk to each other, pretend it's 1995. It's a simple message, but it says a lot about the kind of place that Loradona Calabrese has helped create.

Meet Lora And The Family Business

Judy Oskam 1:12

Well, here's my conversation with Lora Calabrese.

Loredana Calabrese 1:16

My name is Loredana. Married name is Calabrese. I'm here. This is a family restaurant. Uh open since 1981. My father opened it. And uh I've been here for 33 years and uh working with him then four years ago he passed away. And I'm continuing uh the restaurant. Me, my husband's a chef, my son's a pizza chef. Oh, I love it. It's all a family business. Oh hard work, but it is a lot of hard work.

Judy Oskam 1:48

Oh, yeah, it is, yeah. It is a lot of hard work. Well, yeah, I I love that. Well, and I noticed I noticed the sign on your door that says, We do not have Wi-Fi. Talk to each other, pretend it's 1995. Yeah. What inspired that message?

Loredana Calabrese 2:04

Uh to see people talking to each other at the table. Yeah. Not always uh watching the phones and no conversations, from the kids to the adults.

Judy Oskam 2:14

Yeah. So this really is all about community.

Loredana Calabrese 2:16

Yes. Yeah.

Judy Oskam 2:17

Talk about that. Why why is that important?

Loredana Calabrese 2:21

Because these days with all these um, you know, mobiles, um, there's not much communication anymore between each other. So, you know, when you come out for a dinner, you want people to talk, to have a laugh, and especially when it's all families together, you know, it it's nice to see that. Well, how long have you had the sign up?

Judy Oskam 2:41

It's about two years. Two years. Have you seen a difference? Yes. Talk about that. Tell me about that.

Loredana Calabrese 2:47

Nobody asks anymore for the Wi-Fi first thing. And I can see more communication at the table, yeah.

Judy Oskam 2:54

Yeah. Well, and I I imagine when you were a little kid running around with your dad, yeah.

Loredana Calabrese 3:01

It wasn't like that. No, no, no. No, even when we were in Italy, you know, people used to play outside. It was different uh temperatures, you know, different weather, but you know, they used to enjoy, you know, kid the boys playing football, you know, the girls even just playing in the street and all that, and it was even much more safer.

Judy Oskam 3:20

Yeah, of course. Yeah. Well, and your your heritage is from Italy.

From Italy To North Berwick

Judy Oskam 3:24

Yeah, how did you land in Scotland? What brought the family here?

Loredana Calabrese 3:28

Uh my father came first in Scotland and he worked for somebody in Edinburgh in a restaurant, and then he ended up in North Berwick. He found this restaurant to to to rent and he opened up a restaurant. And uh then slowly he bought the property and uh but he worked on his own for many years. He used to work until three or four o'clock in the morning because he after close the restaurant, he used to do the preparation for the day after, and then you know, slowly all the family came over. Um my mum came over, my brother came over. We used to come in summertime, me and my sister during the school holidays.

Judy Oskam 4:06

Were you excited to come, or was it such a different place you didn't want to leave? What was that like?

Loredana Calabrese 4:12

Yeah, it was nice to come. We didn't have any holidays because our holidays were here, working holidays. Then I got married and I came over with my um with my own family, my husband and the two kids in uh 1992. Yeah, yeah. My kids uh went to school here. They grew up in North Berick, a very nice place. And um now one yeah, the oldest one he's a pizza chef, and the other one he's out of uh he's not in the business.

Judy Oskam 4:42

Yeah, well tell me a little bit about uh how how important place is. It's a very good community, yeah, very nice people.

Loredana Calabrese 4:53

North Berwick. Yeah, North Berwick, yeah.

Judy Oskam 4:55

Yeah, and everybody I I heard I heard from Emma earlier. Yes, she says everyone comes here to celebrate. Yeah, they celebrate a birthday here, yeah. This is where they come.

Loredana Calabrese 5:06

Yeah, a lot of uh families together. I've seen um the my customers from kids to adults now with their own kids, you know, it's really nice to see them coming back and you know yeah, they celebrate birthdays,

Celebrations And Family Memories

Loredana Calabrese 5:22

anniversaries.

Judy Oskam 5:23

Yeah.

Loredana Calabrese 5:23

It's good.

Judy Oskam 5:24

Well, and what's the experience you want them to have when they're in here?

Loredana Calabrese 5:28

You know, uh family, like you know, you know, we're um fa family memories, like we're Italian when we get together, it's really big families. You know, at the end, what have you got? You got these memories, you know, of the family together, you know, cousins and all that, and friends and families. That's what I want in this restaurant, you know, that they got good memories of the families. And because these days, you know, it's not easy to get families together. Yeah. So it's very nice for me, you know, to see all the these families that can get all together.

Judy Oskam 6:04

Well, and what have you learned from the fact that it started with your dad, your father built this. Yeah. When you look out, what what have you learned from?

Loredana Calabrese 6:14

Yeah, he worked really hard. Hard work. Because when he came here he was on his horn. And I as I told you before, he used to finish working and then like after the restaurant was closed, he used to stay in the restaurant for three until three or four o'clock in the morning, uh, getting ready for the day after, because he was just himself. And until my mum came and my brother came, you know, they they worked really hard. And you're doing that now. I know, yeah. Now my mum mm to she's got dementia, but what does she remember? She's in Italy with my sister, and you know, you talk to her, she said, Oh, I need to go to the restaurant. I got work to do. This is what she remembers, you know. Yes, yes. Wow. How old is she? I need to uh she's 89. I need to go and cook, you know. Uh we got a lot to do at the restaurant. She still does remember that. So that's a core memory for her.

Judy Oskam 7:06

Yeah. That's really that's really important. Well, what does that say then about your family and the values that you learned in your family?

Loredana Calabrese 7:15

It's a very close family. My brother, he's got a restaurant in Edinburgh and hardly see him because he's busy there, I'm busy here. And yeah, and uh family together is really important. You know, you you have to support each other. And uh, you know, seeing what my father has done for us, you know, for me, I

Hard Work, Values, And Legacy

Loredana Calabrese 7:36

want to try my best to keep it going because I I know the hard work, both of them, my mother and father, what they put in the restaurant. So I want to keep it going as he wanted it.

Judy Oskam 7:48

Yeah, and what are the challenges that you're facing with that? Uh challenges, uh or is it just such a way of life you don't see it as a challenge?

Loredana Calabrese 7:59

No, I don't see it as a challenge. For me, it's natural because I've been so many years 30 years in this business, more than 30 years.

Judy Oskam 8:05

So Yeah. Yeah. What advice would you have for someone that really wants to create a community environment like this? What advice do you have for them?

Loredana Calabrese 8:16

They have to be constant and you know, uh you have to I don't know, uh it's day by day, you know. You you have to put really a lot in it.

Judy Oskam 8:27

Yeah.

Loredana Calabrese 8:28

You know, especially this business.

Judy Oskam 8:29

Yeah. And it's 24 hours a day, right?

Loredana Calabrese 8:32

It's a lot of business. Not not 24. Once you close the door. That's why when I go on holiday, I prefer um closing for three or four days. Because anyway, my husband comes with me. My my my son's got kids, you know, and he has to three small kids so he can dedicate time for his kids. So I prefer closing it. So if I have three days of holidays, I have it without nobody calling me, you know. Sure. Yeah. And I my because my husband is a chef, you know, even himself, um, because he cooks all the time, he doesn't want to put a different chef because, you know It's his name on the Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the customer will notice and he and he just wants him to cook. Yeah. Yeah.

Judy Oskam 9:15

Oh well well, and you know, restaurants businesses are very difficult. They are, they are and they are one of the highest failure rates of any business. Yeah.

Loredana Calabrese 9:25

What has made this survive for so many years? Maybe because we're we're a family. Even the the staff that I've got, uh they they've been working for us for years. And you know, they end up like a like a family. And um, maybe that, you know.

Judy Oskam 9:42

Yeah, yeah. Let alone the good food. Yeah. And yeah, yeah. Again, I told my students about this, and they came here last night. Oh, did they? Yes, they came last year. Oh, three girls. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Those were our Texas State students. They loved the food. So they raved about the food, and they came into class. We hated that restaurant last night. And I said, Great. And I said, and you had your phones off, and they said, Yes, it was so nice. Yeah, so it worked, and I'm trying to tell people I love that, I love that way of connection. I think that's so important.

Loredana Calabrese 10:14

Yeah, because we do all we prepare a lot of food ourselves, you know, it's all fresh made. So it's a lot of work because I'm I will cook as well, so yeah, I love that. I love that. So we're part of the when you're part of the business, you have to know how to do everything. You do. From the cooking, I can't do pizzas, but the rest I can do everything. Right. Oh, that's good.

Judy Oskam 10:35

How many times I have to do the dishes as well. Oh, that's right, of course. Well, I might order a pizza tonight, so I might have that tonight for my dinner, but okay.

Hospitality Lessons From The Floor

Judy Oskam 10:42

I wanted I wanted to ask you, looking back in your life, what experience could be any kind of experience, has shaped who you are today and what story are you still writing? You're still writing your own story here. But what experience shaped you? What do you mean by experience? Any any kind of experience. Was there something that that um impacted you that you really learned a good lesson and now you're moving forward?

Loredana Calabrese 11:15

I I learned a good um a lot of lessons uh from my father, and then we had an older waiter here, and uh I learned a lot from him as well. Uh his his name was Jaco, so he used to tell me, you know, he said, customers are like flowers, you need to bottle them all the time. That's what he used to tell me.

Judy Oskam 11:34

Yeah.

Loredana Calabrese 11:35

And he's and and another thing he used to tell me, um when customers at the door and you make them happy as they come in, you know, they'll be happy for the whole meal. He said, but when you get them upset from the beginning, they'll be always upset. That's how we used to he used to tell me. Yeah, yeah.

Judy Oskam 11:52

Well, what does that say about human nature and people dealing with people? Because this is not only a restaurant and a food business, it's a people business.

Loredana Calabrese 12:00

Oh, we got a lot of nice people here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We say ninety ninety-five percent are really nice. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Keeping It In The Family

Judy Oskam 12:10

Well, look ahead five years. Where where will you be in five years?

Loredana Calabrese 12:13

Oh, I don't know. I think so, be still here.

Judy Oskam 12:16

Yeah.

Loredana Calabrese 12:17

Yeah.

Judy Oskam 12:18

Yeah.

Loredana Calabrese 12:18

Yeah, because I've got my son uh in the business as well, so I would like to help him.

Judy Oskam 12:23

Yes.

Loredana Calabrese 12:24

And uh and then keep it in the family. In the family.

Judy Oskam 12:27

How important is that to you?

Loredana Calabrese 12:28

Oh, it's a lot important. Yeah. Because my father's put really a lot of his uh his life in this restaurant. Yeah. So for me, you know Is his spirit here with us? I think so. Yeah. Yeah. I think so, yeah. He said, I would I would like to die in the bala. That's what he used to say. He was uh very ill in Italy, and uh his um thoughts even the last days was uh here, North Beric. He wanted to come to North Berwick, the Bella. He was always asking of the restaurant. He said that here this uh the um that he created the Bella, so it was uh it was his life. Oh my god, that's so special. Yeah, he's got Giovanni at the door. That's his name. I yeah, I won't take that away. Oh yeah, good, good.

Judy Oskam 13:15

Yeah, and the goal is to keep it, keep the memory alive. Oh yeah, yeah, keep it going. Yeah, I love that.

Loredana Calabrese 13:22

Yeah, you get good days, hard days, you know, for the uh I'm working wise, but at the end it's worth it. I love it.

Judy Oskam 13:31

Well, thank you for hosting us, and I've you're welcome. Thank you so much, and just uh a lovely spot and uh just a great opportunity to hear your story. So thank you. Oh, thank you. Thank you so much. You're welcome.

Closing Reflections And Share Request

Judy Oskam 13:46

Thank you for listening to stories of change and creativity. One of the things that I took away from my conversation with Laura is that meaningful experiences can often happen in ordinary places, like a restaurant, a cafe, a school. A restaurant can become a gathering place, and a shared meal can become a real lasting memory. And a family business like this one can become part of a community story. And the food is fantastic, by the way. Well, when I told Emma Cross I was going to interview Laura, she told me that Bella Italia is where everyone in town goes for celebrations and special occasions. And I can see why. Laura's story reminds us that while the world continues to change, people of all kinds still crave a connection and a sense of belonging. And sometimes it's the simplest things: sharing a meal, listening to one another, and just spending time together. These things matter a lot. And remember, at Bella Italia, there's no Wi-Fi. Talk to each other, pretend it's 1995. I just love that. And if you enjoyed this episode, please share it with someone who values family. And until next time, I'm Judy Oskam. And remember, every story has something to teach us. And the experiences that shape us often become the stories we share. Thanks for listening.